THE ENEMY EGO AND REAL EGO

Srila Sridhar Maharaja

Srila Sridhar Maharaja

Excerpted from “Loving Search for the Lost Servant – Chapter Two”

By Srila Bhakti Raksak Sridhar Dev-Goswami Maharaj


Here, everything is but a reflection of the perfect world. Originally everything is there, including all types of service, but here we have only a perverted reflection. Leaving this variegated world behind, we should not attempt to merge into non consciousness so that we won’t be able to feel any pleasure or pain. At present we are under the influence of our enemy ego. Real ego exists in the spiritual world. All experience is found there, but it is full of beauty and charm.

Sri Sri Radha and Krishna in the spiritual World.

Sri Sri Radha and Krishna in the spiritual World.

Kṛṣṇa consciousness means full fledged theism. This means that we can have a relationship with the infinite up to consort hood. Everything that we need to help us and lead us in the right direction is really to be found in the spiritual world in its purest and most desirable position. What we find here is only a shadow, a black imitation. But reality means full-fledged theism – Kṛṣṇa consciousness – where the infinite embraces the whole finite. The infinite comes down to welcome, to fully embrace the finite – that is Vṛndāvana. And this is full-fledged theism: through Kṛṣṇa consciousness, one negligent part of the finite may experience the blissful embrace of the whole infinite. And in Vṛndāvana , not a corner is left neglected. Every grain of sand, every blade of grass, is well-represented there with personality. Here, what to speak of a particle of sand, so many things are insignificant. But in Vṛndāvana, everything is cared for. Nothing is ignored. That is full-fledged theism. This is explained in Śrīmad Bhāgavatam (10.21.15)

varhāpīḍaṁ naṭa-bara-vapuḥ karnayoḥ karnikāraṁ

bibrad vāsaḥ kanaka-kapiśam vaijayantīn cha mālām

randhrān venoradhara-sudhayā purayan gopavṛndair

vṛndāranyaṁ sva-pada-ramanaṁ prāviśad gīta-kīrtiḥ


Śukadeva Goswāmi reveals something astounding to Parīkṣit Mahāraja. When Kṛṣṇa enters the forest of Vṛndāvana by the touch of the soles of His lotus feet, the earth feels the pleasure of His embrace – the personal embrace of the Sweet Absolute (vṛndāranyam svapada-ramanam). This is inconceivable! By the touch of the holy feet of Kṛṣṇa, the sand and the earth feels the pleasure of consort hood! Glorified by His cowherd friends, He enters the forest of Vṛndāvana, and the earth, the forest, and everything that comes in connection with Him feels a higher, closer sense experience of pleasure to the happiest degree.


Consort hood

In Vṛndāvana, the earth feels the mood of consort hood. So, the Vṛndāvana-līlā of Kṛṣṇa is so wonderful that even Brahmā, the creator of the universe, said, “How can we understand You, my Lord? I know something about my Lord Nārāyana, who is near to me. He and I have some direct connection so that I may discharge my official duties. But You have come within my circle and I can’t understand You. What is this?” He tried his best to test Kṛṣṇa by kidnapping His cowherd boyfriends and calves, but he was astounded to find that, “Although I have removed them, everything is as it was before; Kṛṣṇa is still surrounded by His friends and their calves, engaged in their pleasure Pastimes. So He is infinite. Even as the lord of the universe, my interference could not disrupt anything under His control. By His own sweet will He conducts his play. I tried to test Him, but now I am bewildered by His inconceivable potency. I could not understand that although an apparently human cowherd boy, He is nonetheless the supreme-most, higher than even Lord Nārāyaṇa.” He pleaded with Kṛṣṇa, “Now I have come to my senses; please forgive me, my Lord.”

What use is a particle of our intelligence? How much can it measure the infinite? Śrī Chaitanya Mahāprabhu says, “Don’t try to apply your brain to the infinite. The brain is not a unit for measurement in that plane. Your intellect is cancelled by the infinite. Try to measure it only by feeling, by taste, by heart – the brain will be your enemy. It will always deceive you in its measurement, and that will disturb you and limit your progress.”

Only faith can help us. Otherwise nothing can reach that plane. We can reach the sun or moon only with the help of advanced technology. We can’t reach out and touch it with our hand or with a long stick. In the same way, to connect with the highest reality, faith alone can help one. Faith is the most spacious medium. But even that is very meagre in consideration of the high thing with which you would like to connect, the supreme cause of all causes.

We are teeny souls. How much can we accommodate with our faith? How wide and how broad is our faith? What can we catch within our faith? What we are seeking is infinite, and we are very much afraid; “Oh, if I rely on faith, something may go wrong. I may be deceived.” But within our teeny hearts, how much faith can we contain? Only by analogy with the sky or the ocean may we understand anything about the infinite, but what is that in comparison? Nothing.

And what is the infinite? That from which everything is coming, by which everything is maintained, and into which everything is ultimately entering; the all-comprehensive, all-permeating, all-controlling, all-attracting, all-feeling Absolute.

So everything is all right with the infinite and the environment. We have only to correct ourselves, to adjust ourselves. This is the conclusion – ”Try to adjust yourself; everything is all right with the environment. We must leave everything to the Supreme Lord and conduct ourselves accordingly.” That will bring us real peace and progressive realization in spiritual life.


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